I'd like to thank The Academy. . .  Oh, wait.  That's for another time (when the movie based on my children's book wins the Oscar for Best Picture). . .

I actually have many beings to thank (a few humans, a couple of cats, but mostly dogs).  Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today (lounging on Momma Bomma's couch, watching
Six Feet Under while eating chicken-flavored BonBons).

But before I do, Momma Bomma made me promise to fess up and admit that she did in fact help me with a lot of this site.  Okay, okay, SHE DESIGNED & PROGRAMMED THE WHOLE SHEBANG.  If you want to talk to her about Web designing, photography, puppetry, or her theory on the meaning of life, you can give her a holler at incarnadine@hotmail.com.
(Code name: Leigh Baltzer.)

Other sites designed and programmed by Leigh:

• Sandy Money
  
  
• UCLA's "Hallmark Hall of Fame" Collection
  
  
• Arizona State University's "Signs of Aliens" Distance Learning

Anyway, back to my, uh, speech.  I'd like to give a shout to my peeps: Loosey, Katie, Rosie, Dexter, Desi, Lucy, Porch, Anya, Riley, Maggi, Whitney, Henry, Robbie, Zoe, and Beta.  (Whew!  Sounds like Will Hunting's list of "brothers!")

Thanks for all the fun at Borderland, Stoddard's Neck, Bare Cove, RedGuy's Apartment, The Empty Lot, Laurel Canyon Dog Park, Huntington Dog Beach, Jana's House, and Those Mountains In Tucson, respectively.

Particularly, I'd like to give a hoot and holler to my ex-girlfriend Whitney (I still have your squeaky duck and Mr. Pineapple Man -- nyah nyah), and my (hopefully) future girlfriend Loosey.  (Loosey, what can I say? You're a smaller female version of moi.  How could I not be in love?)

To the dogs I've yet to play with (but hope to, and sooner than later):  Maddie, Jake, Diesel, Manu, Jesse, Lucy, Lola, Chesty, Hazel, Ox, Ginger.  9AM.  Stoddard's Neck.  Be there or be square.

To the dogs who live too far away to play with (dognabit!):  Jembe, Willie, Winnie, Bionda, Aunt Blackie, Unkel Tazz, Patch, Sandy, Annie, Dolly, and Ollie.  Come visit soon.

And to the dogs I never got a chance to play with (and hope to, but later than sooner):  Wilbur.  Barnum.  My Great-Grampa's bull dog.  (By the way, Momma Bomma says to tell your dad that she misses him terribly.)  Phaedra.  Poochie.  Ripple.  Iko.  RCA.  Princess.  Flip.  Cleo.  Macduff.  Hunter.

You were loved.  You are still loved.  You always will be loved.  Best friends and soul mates are never forgotten.  And are never really gone.

And last (but most definitely least), I have to thank the cats I know.  Olive, Misty, Bruschi, KC, Murphy, Yma, Nova, Sascha, Phineas Nim, and Simon-Joseph-Rachid-B.B.-Butch-Sinatra-Ramon-La-La.  You guys remind me to be thankful I'm a dog!  (Except for Joey, who I'm convinced actually IS a dog, but, unfortunately for him, trapped in a cat's body.)

Oh yeah, I forgot to thank the humans on my list.  (Please don't start playing the "you-need-to-leave-the-stage-now,-you-egotistical-pinhead" music yet!)

Thanks to my Boston-based GramMammy & GrandPappy.  Momma Bomma said I should thank you for letting us crash at your crib as often as we do (even though you won't let me on the couch).

Thanks to my Memphis-based GramMammy and GrandPappy.  I thank you for all the treats and toys you've sent, and for all the treats and toys I just KNOW you'll be sending in the future!

Thanks to everyone who's ever taken care of me when (God Forbid) Momma Bomma was away:  RedGuy (ten-hut!), CheapoFreako (Doritos and steak bones, yum!), Unkel Wessie (thanks for helping me with those Mother's Day cards, Unk), Maggi's Pappy, Whitney's Momma, Zoe's Momma, Aunt Joanne (got any flower essences for over-inflated egos?), and of course, Li'l Papa Camper Bear (despite your ingesting of YOU KNOW WHAT. . .  That's right, I'll never forget (and probably never forgive, for that matter) what unspeakable act of brutality you committed.  Shame on you, CamperBear.  Shame, shame, shame.

(Wow, this really IS like an Oscar acceptance speech -- it keeps going on and on and on. . .  But what can I say?  I've lived a full life and met a lot of thanks-worthy beings along the way.  Besides, it IS a bit more entertaining than those boring speeches, dont'cha think?  No??!?!?  Oh.  Well, don't worry.  I'm almost done.  After all, this is a Once In A Lifetime Opportunity!)

Thanks to Helen The Flower Store Lady down the street for putting out those scrumptious biscuits on your stoop.

Thanks to my Puppy-dog Momma for finding such a good-lookin' Pappy.  Without you guys, I wouldn't have ended up so damn handsome and irresistable!

Thanks to those guys who found me wandering aimlessly in that Tucson park on that fateful day.  Without you, I would still be homeless.  And even more importantly, I never would've met. . .

Momma Bomma.  Thank you for finding me, loving me, and not getting too mad when I pooped inside the house that time.  I don't know what I'd do without you in my life.