Dear Everyone,

Greetings from my very first newsletter!  (Hold onto this sucker - it'll be worth something someday on eBay!)

So the first announcement I have is that my long-awaited Web site is finally up and running!  But chances are you already know this, given that you probably happened upon this newsletter from the link on the site.  Nonetheless, I feel the need to formally announce the birth of -- drum roll, please -- www.phineasthedog.com!

Though my Web site is pretty self-explanatory, there's one subject that I should probably address.  If you're looking for your dog's name in lights (or in the rare instance, your cat's... or in the even rarer instance, your own), check out the "Credits" section.  It is there that I pay homage to the dogs (and cats and people) from years past, present, and future.

So.  Although I'm not supposed to beg, I, uh, implore you to please send www.phineasthedog.com to any and all of your friends and family.  If you send it to enough people, Bill Gates will send you a check for $5000, the phone will ring, and all the problems in the world will be cured.  If you don't, you will have bad luck for the rest of your life, your wish WON'T come true, and it'll be all your fault that global warming fries us all like overcooked sausages.

But seriously, if you like the site, please pass it along.  Heck even if you don't like it, pass it on anyway.  (Just 'cause you didn't like it doesn't mean that your friends are as dimwitted.)

If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or - heck, I'll throw it out there - compliments, feel free to email me at phineasthedog@yahoo.com.  And even though I check my email much more often than Momma Bomma, her email is mommabommabaltzer@yahoo.com, should you want to email her.

If you'd like to join my mailing list and receive these wonderful newsletters (free of charge!), please email me and I'll add you to my list.  Mind you, if Momma Bomma happens to already have your email address, you are on the mailing list by default, and you're in for quite a treat - an involuntary lifetime subscription to "My Newsletter."

Of course, if (for some unfathomable reason) you no longer want to receive these wonderfully entertaining yet informative newsletters, please let me know.  Though my ego will be deeply wounded, I'll listen to some depressing music in the dark, have a good cry, and be done with it. Depending on who you are, I may not even hold a grudge.

Until next month,